You look at outwardly successful people around you and can’t help thinking “They have everything.” But those people likely stare at themselves in the mirror and find all kinds of faults or dwell on problems, “I hate my nose… I wonder why my friends won’t talk to me… I need to pay off those loans.”

And that is the ironic thing. We constantly look at other people, envy them for being so perfect and wish we could trade places with them, while they look at us and think the same thing. We are insecure of other people who themselves are insecure of us. And our insecurity results in low self-esteem lack of self-confidence and we lose hope in self-improvement because we are enveloped in quiet desperation.

You may notice that you have an irritating habit like biting off your fingernails, or jumping to conclusions, and you – of all people, is the last to know. The trouble is, this habit may socially handicap you and gradually affect the people around you as others avoid the circles you’re in.

One key to self-improvement therefore is to talk and really listen to a trusted friend of yours. Find someone who you are comfortable in being completely honest with and they with you. Ask questions like “do you think I over-react in certain situations?” “Do I always sound so aggressive?”, “Am I boring?”. Listen intently to your friend’s comments and criticisms and try not to get defensive. Open up your mind and heart as well. And in return, you may want to help your friend with constructive criticism that will also help her improve her self.

Once you have made those self-improvements, let other people see what you have achieved for yourself and try to inspire other people. There is nothing like a positive effect on people and it will increase your self-esteem knowing that you are inspiring others to help themselves.

You need to stop thinking of yourself as a second-rate person and forget repetitive negative thoughts such as “If only I was richer… if only I was thinner” and so on. Accepting your true self is the first real step towards self-improvement. The worst thing you can do is to compare yourself to others and find more reasons to envy them.

Everybody has insecurities. It is a simple fact of life and what makes us human. Nobody is perfect. We will always wish for better things, better features, a better job, etc. But life does not need to be perfect for people to be happy about themselves. Self-improvement and loving yourself is not a matter of shouting to the whole world that you are the perfect one and the best at everything. It’s the virtue of acceptance and contentment - begin to improve ourselves, and we begin to feel contented and happy.

About the Author: Kerenza Faram is the author of several informative articles on self improvement. Gain immediate access to 50 of the world's most reknowned speakers and excellent self improvement courses.

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